


small spaces

by tea_at_twilight_time



Series: the baby dirk chronicles [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Crying, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Thumb-sucking, but no actual wetting, mentions of wetting, oof, twily is. so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 17:32:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17187326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_at_twilight_time/pseuds/tea_at_twilight_time
Summary: Dirk lets himself be not okay.He just wishes that it didn't lead to...this.





	small spaces

**Author's Note:**

> tbh this is kinda, sorta based off of that quote in the first or second episode where dirk talks about he'll be "not so okay later", or something like that. my memory is terrible but i'm really happy to have a protag who admits to not being alright with the blatantly traumatic events happening around them for once pfft

It's hard, sometimes.  
  
The things Dirk has seen, the things he has _experienced_ , they all can be...kind of overwhelming, to be honest. Really overwhelming, actually.  
  
...a man died in front of him. He hadn't been the first, and lord knows he won't be the last, but it's still...  
  
It's too much.  
  
The moment he gets home, the moment he's alone with his thoughts, he can feel himself start to break down. Cold spreads through his body, and he starts to shiver, his legs turning to jello. He barely makes it to the couch before he collapses, curling in on himself like a child. He pulls his knees to his chest and whimpers, trying to quell his shaking.  
  
He knows he won't be able to, though. He can already feel himself starting to slip.  
  
Tears well up in his eyes and quickly start to spill over his cheeks. His breath hitches, and he jams his thumb into his mouth and gives it a few comforting sucks.  
  
As per usual, however, a few sucks turns into a steady rhythm, and he can't bring himself to pull his thumb away. Goddammit, he'd known that indulging in this urge would be a mistake. He can feel himself slipping further and further into his unwanted headspace, and he squeezes his eyes shut.  
  
He wants his teddy bear.  
  
First, though, he has to get off the couch.  
  
Uncurling slowly from his fetal position, Dirk stumbles off of the couch and shakily makes his way toward his bedroom, his thumb still in his mouth the whole way there. He kneels down in front of his bed, and with one hand, searches underneath his bed for his special box.  
  
He manages to drag it out, somehow, despite how cumbersome it is. He pops the lid open, and the first thing he grabs out is his bright blue pacifier. He replaces his thumb with it, relieved to have both hands free. One hand can grab his teddy bear and hold it close, and the other hand can hold his blanket and pull it over his shoulders.  
  
There. This is better. If he's stuck sliding into this...this godawful headspace, then it's better for him to at least have his comfort items.  
  
He doesn't move to the bed, nor does he go back to the couch. He will be staying on the floor for the time being, until this passes. Just in case he loses control of...er...things, it'll be easier to clean.  
  
It's easier to wipe liquid off of hard floors, than it is to soak it out of carpet. He's learned this the hard way.

He doesn't bother with changing into more childish clothes, either. It doesn't really matter. He doesn't want this, he _never_ wants this, and even if he did, he's in too deep already, and his eyes are watery with tears, and it would just be _too much_. He curls back in on himself, cuddles his teddy bear to his chest, and falls back into his sobbing fit, previously put on pause to get all of this.  
  
Tomorrow, everything will go back to normal. Tomorrow, (hopefully) he can escape this stupid, vulnerable headspace. Tomorrow, he can pretend to be okay again.  
  
Tonight, however, he has to be _not quite okay_. Tonight, he needs to be small.  
  
God. He just wishes it doesn't need to be this way. 

**Author's Note:**

> dunno what to say here other than i'm,, sorry? god being the first person to post nonsexual age play in a fandom is always a nerve wracking experience ldzflkasjdflks 
> 
> anyway! on the off chance this *doesn't* get me automatically kicked out of the fandom, i have another idea for a follow-up chapter that's more of my usual agere, angsty, hurt-comforty shmoop, so if this gets any positive reception, i might consider writing it? idk. 
> 
> thanks for reading, though! feedback is always appreciated, but you obviously don't gotta drop a comment if you don't wanna, haha.


End file.
